I love faces and really didn't give much thought as to why I was drawn to faces in my art until recently.
Growing up, I grew up with a mother who did not look at me. I especially did not feel she looked at me with love.
All my life I searched people's faces to determine whether I was loved or not, safe or not, could trust them or not.
The face became my doorway to connection.
Even to this day, affect is super important to me. If someone cannot look at me, then I cannot really feel them or see them from a felt sense and it is often difficult for me to trust them or feel open to them.
The face is where I feel most connected to people.
It is the place where I can determine trust, where I can sense into who they are. I am sure that energy and body language is also a huge part of this, but I notice as a trauma survivor I scan faces unconsciously all the time. I can tell if someone is hurting, angry, sad, or if something is off, just by looking at their face. Sometimes people will claim not to be angry, but it is written all over their face. I can see the seething anger underneath the smile.
Faces also are a place of beauty for me and the wider eyes I use in my stylized faces are often open and inviting. They say I am here, see me, don't look away from me. Sometimes they draw you in.
And beyond the beauty of a face there is always an underlying power, grace, sadness, strength. Even in the sadness there is beauty.
They are truly representations of the human experience.
