It has been three weeks since I came home from Italy and I am still in some ways processing the experience but there is a story I want to tell you.
I think this story is really important because we all struggle with feelings around scarcity, around trusting whether things will in fact work out if we take a leap and go for a dream in our lives. This is a true story of a real Journey of YES. It's not just me giving a class on it, it is me LIVING it and I really truly want you to have your own journey of yes, again and again.
So this is how it went.
Before going to Italy, I had this plan to move out of my apartment.
My intention was to move out of my apartment, put my things in storage and go on a 43 day trip to Italy. The plan was to figure it all out when I came back. A hernia issue put that move on hold and on June 18th, I sent out the following in my newsletter to my peeps. Pay close attention to the last part:
"As many of you know my plan was to move out of my apartment before my trip to Italy. But my body said a resounding NO to that when my hernia started getting bigger as a result of all the packing. I've had the hernia for years, it's was small and never really bothered me.
I've decided to listen, back off and just enjoy my trip and not put the added pressure of a big move in the mix.
There is also another piece to the decision to move a few months ago and once I'm on solid ground with it, I'll share with all of you. I anticipate telling a very victorious story about all this in the end. Sorry to be vague, but I am still working through it."
So here is the truth about that other piece.
The truth was that even though I know I need to leave this apartment at some point because I haven't been happy here for quite some time, the main reason was that I didn't believe I could keep my apartment AND go to Italy. My mind could not wrap itself around being able to support myself completely in another country for 43 days and pay all my bills back home.
Scarcity thinking had me believing I could not make that happen.
The gift of this hernia was that I had to make that happen. I had to find a way to make it to Italy, support myself while there and take care of everything back home. And the story I wanted to tell, was that not only did I do it, but I was able to cover everything, have the time of my life and paint and sell my paintings while there.
I am here to tell you that I did it!!
I freaking did it!!!
I not only paid all of my bills and expenses while in Italy but also some unexpected expenses related to Shelly (my doggie) that came up as well. And I even treated myself to my first tattoo !
So how in the heck did I do it?
Here's the behind the scenes story of how it played out.
I said yes to Italy before I had the money to go. My best friend Edie said I will pay half your ticket if you come. Of course at first I thought she was crazy, I thought of all the reasons why I could not go. Heck I don't even leaving my house for too many hours and I suffer from chronic pain daily, there was no way I could make it through that flight.
But at some point I realized I could not say no. There was no way I could pass up an opportunity of a lifetime and my family all encouraged me to go.
I had to go.
I said YES. I made the decision.
Within a few days, the money showed up for the rest of my ticket and then some.
I booked it.
Still no idea how I would come up with the money for our shorter Rome trip, spending money, and pay all the bills while I was gone, but I was IN.
There was no turning back.
A part of me didn't believe I was going, or comprehend what I was about to do. It was just some fantasy in mind. Which is really how it goes when you want to do something you've never done before. You can't really wrap your mind around it, you have an idea of how it might go, but really you don't know and you just kind of have to trust it.
Even with selling my paintings, at the rate I do on average, it usually only covers the basics. That was the reality but when you are taking a leap of faith it's like you can't really look at reality...you kind of have to be slightly delusional.
So how in the world was I going to come up with an extra two to three thousand dollars?
Here is the thing, there is something about saying yes and actually booking something that leaves you no choice, that activates your mind in such a way that you begin thinking about all the ways you CAN do it. There is something about the power of saying yes even when you don't know the HOW of it yet that begins to transmit an opening into the universe that can now be filled..because you are open and clear that this IS going to happen, somehow, some way.
And it did.
Within a couple of weeks I had the money of the Rome trip, hotel and airfare. Check.
Now all I needed was spending money and enough money to pay for everything back home. So instead of sitting back and hoping and praying and waiting, I decided to make a plan. I would work my way through Italy.
I would paint while there, paintings influenced by my time there. I sent supplies ahead and made lots of room for my flat canvas panels and other supplies in my suitcase. Edie was gracious enough to let me use her supplies as well as she set up her dining room table so that her and I had a space to work while I was there.
I also wanted a way to thank those who bought paintings before my trip and during since they were making the dream happen for me. So, I would also send a long little Italian gifts along with paintings. These little elements of gratitude mattered and contributed to what I call the waves of yes I kept riding on throughout the trip.
The second part of this was the energetic part. The part where I would bring everyone along for the ride because I knew that for me that would amp my own excitement and strengthen my vibration while there. I am someone who loves to share her journey, I love to bring people along and share the joy. It's part of my personality. And so I shared everything every step of the way, I shared the art I was making, I captured every beautiful and inspiring moment I could. And that kept my energy high, and kept me inspired to create more and more paintings. In just 43 days minus the week in Rome when I didn't paint, I painted 16 paintings, plus one painting that was a collaboration with Edie. (seen below, isn't it beautiful?)
And the way the universe responded was by matching me up with people who were excited for me, who got something out of watching me fly, who were inspired to fly in their own lives. And in many ways those Italy paintings were symbols of hope and the great leap of faith I took. They were infused with a certain energy that was powerful and people responded to them and brought them home. Out of 16 paintings, 13 of them sold. And that paid for my trip, and everything I needed.
How cool is that?
I learned so much from this experience. I learned that saying yes is even more powerful than I thought it was and even though I have been facilitating cycles of the Journey of Yes and walking my talk, this is by far the biggest and bravest thing I have done in a very long time.
I really can say from this experience I know what it's like to take a big leap of faith, to trust the process, to trust that the universe (insert your word here) and you will be held if you believe. I lived it, I experienced it first hand.
Was it a perfect journey, no, by no means. While it has been one of the most expansive experiences of my life, I did have someone very close to me have a traumatic experience while I was gone and so the wounded part of me has definitely been piping in with thoughts like "you see, you can't totally be happy", "you see the shoe dropped", " but my work now is to continue to believe in the power of yes, to keep my faith in love and joy. To know that I am still being held, I am always held. To trust what experienced and take as much as I can from it going forward.
My faith is strong, so strong that it brought me to Italy and sustained me while there. Nothing can take that away. And so as you say yes, trust, be open, get clear, get ready, it's going to be one hell of a ride and it's so worth it.
You are worth it.
You can fly.
You just have to say YES from the deepest part of you, a real true, I am gonna freaking do it, come hell or high water kind of YES. It has to be that sure, that strong, until then you are not truly saying yes, you are saying maybe and the universe doesn't really know what to do with "maybe".
Say yes for real. Get ready, dig in, make it happen, find a way , stay the course, trust, ride the waves baby. I'm proof that it can be done.
I really want to see you fly.
Join us for the next Journey of YES starting October 15th. Register here